Emo

I feel like what those emo kids must feel like these days. I can’t even really pinpoint why I’ve been this way lately. It could be any number of factors, but most likely it is everything all rolled up together.

• My girlfriend has been gone more often than she has been home, and I’m lonely and ready to have my partner back full time. (She’s away again at a conference…)
• My first child has gone off to live away from home for the first time ever and she doesn’t seem to be an active participant (so far) in college life.  I’m worried about her, and don’t want to see her fail or screw up this opportunity she’s been given.
• The reality of working at home with no one to look at and engage with each day is a little difficult, even though for the most part I really like it.
• My weight loss efforts have been incredibly slow, with only about 9 pounds lost in the last 10 weeks of going to weight watchers and being very diligent with food and somewhat good about exercise.
• My social circle is about as small as it’s ever been in my adult life, and I have no idea on how I want to expand it.

So yea, I guess I feel a little emo. I’m definitely ready for it to change though. I like myself better when I’m happy and interesting and fun to be around. So with that, maybe I should make another list of the stuff that’s good.

• I have a wonderful love in my life and after well over a year together, I still feel in-love. That’s a HUGE thing for me because in the past I’ve generally been sick of who I’m with by this time in a relationship.
• My kids are both happy and generally stay out of trouble and love me and support my relationship with Carolyn.
• My house is clean and most things work like they’re supposed to.
• My sister is going to have her second baby in any day now, and I’ll be Aunty Liz to a new family member and will get my baby fix on.
• The weather is pretty nice, sunny and 70’s just like I like it.
• I get to roll out of bed and go to work each day. I can work in front of the tv, or listen to any music I want. No one really monitors my comings and goings. And to top it off, I make pretty damn good money.
• Speaking of money, I have very little debt, and I have money in the bank.
• I’m healthy and strong and damn! I’m even cute.

So see, what am I all emo about? I have it pretty good! Maybe I’ll go take my dog out for a walk and crank up my iPod and convince myself that my good far outweighs my bad and try to pull myself out of my slump.